The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted porn by the memory of a porn stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer porn to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the porn woman an ‘actrice’, memek or bokeh sex worker.

Now, crot according to porn this crot new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and porn all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: memek there’s sex as performance art, crot porn and crot sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, porn trusts her partner and bokeh is not fearing for memek a porn fragile bokeh male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek memek like the rabid super-vixen in memek my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they’d explain, bokep so they could make their partner feel happy, memek while conserving their energy bokeh for memek other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion bokeh of another study by two bokep researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners bokep and bokeh ‘manipulation’, bokep and memek that women were bokep prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A new study bokeh confirms the louder the cry memek of ecstasy, crot the greater crot the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: memek ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but can you get bokep a bloomin’ move on.’ memek bokep Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep bokeh where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in porn 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokep that’s crot what you should be doing.’

Well, bokeh only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, porn Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda crot Jetha concluded the most likely reason memek women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they bokep were fertile and memek keen to crot memek copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can understand memek the porn need to advertise. But if you’re not, memek then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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